omg tis new year countdown sucked..

went to py hse, once reach there SOMEONE alrdy staring at the damn tv watching some hong kong drama

and everyone wasnt in the mood for a new year eve, thats wad im seeing/feeling. 

& u knw how much i hate drama in the 1st place.. Eng, Hong kong, korean drama, just any drama i hate it

bcz i dun understand why ppl get so hooked into it & i just find it a mood killer alot of times

SO there we were sitting down n staring into oblivion suddenly the sound of fireworks start going off..

ran to the top floor to see the view of fireworks and basically we didnt even countdown, sucked,, didnt hve tat new year feel.. 

The party finally started when we played the drinking game.

I wouldnt go into detail.. but the time is 7am+ now and i have the feeling of vomit and fucking headache rite now while everyone is sleeping, i cant.. there lies Sam, Brian n Adrian snoring their way into heaven or somewhere far away.. 

I really wished somehow I could end new year in a better way. 

Last night i argued with my gf, and then news of my dad's stage 4 cancer has just put me down so much tat i really hope i can end 2012 in a nicer way.\

Here i am sitting on the cold air cond room hearing the snores of 3 pigs while cant stop thinking whether my beloved feels ok & my dad's condition...

i hope i didnt hurt her too much, i knw im a horrible bf.. i knw i hurt her so much. IM SO DAMN SORRY IM SORRY annie,, 

Other ppl might not know it but she always truly care n love me, everytime she will comfort me n love me n so much more.. I never knw some1 can love me so much, bcz im such an idiot but she still can love me..

She loves me so much, but i keep on hurt her. I dunno wads wrong with me! I hurt the person who i love, wads wrong with me?????!!!!!!

Is it my dad's news that he has 2 more months to live that makes my feelings all fucked up? 

Annie, u know i never wanna hurt you. I love u so much.

but im sorry, i dunno wads with me recently... Please forgive me.
I hope 2013 we can start anew. I want our relationship to improve. I want my girl.
And to any of my friends whom i've hurt or offend in the pass year pls forgive me as well, AND if im still offending u and hurting you (so called friends & ppl dun perasaan btw if ur reading tis bcz tis might not be you) ok where was i? Oh right, if im still hurting you or offending u til tis day its bcz i hate you and i dont care but to my other friends you know i love u guys too rite. Your like another family to me & thats how much u guys mean to me, and im sorry if i never mentioned this often but im not the type of guy to be sweet face to face.. usually face to face im a very big idiot who like to make stupid jokes.. I get KINDA uncomfortable being too sweet sometimes but i really mean it, you guys r like another family to me and i love you guys for it and i hope you guys know that. My life is now im a very complicated position now and you guys are the best part of it =) 

I hope to be better this year.